The 5 pillars of mental health: insights from the book by Tom van Mierlo

More than 3.3 million Dutch adults were diagnosed with a mental disorder in 2023 — up from 1.9 million just thirteen years earlier. These aren't abstract statistics. They're neighbours, colleagues, friends, or perhaps you yourself. In his book The Foundation of Mental Health: Discover the 5 Pillars, psychiatrist and healthcare director Tom van Mierlo explains clearly what mental health actually means — and how you can actively work on it.

His core message: mental health isn't something that happens to you. It's something you can practise. Just as you go to the gym for a healthy body, you can work on a healthy mind. Van Mierlo describes five pillars that form the foundation.

Pillar 1: Embrace Your Feelings

There are four basic emotions: anger, fear, sadness, and joy. It sounds simple, but most people aren't well connected to them. Feelings get suppressed, ignored, or go unrecognised — while they are literally felt in the body. Van Mierlo's message: be in your body. Regularly check in with how you feel. The better you're connected to your emotions, the stronger your sense of self and the healthier your mind. Feelings you push away always surface somewhere else.

Pillar 2: Think Positively

Positive thinking sounds like a cliché, but Van Mierlo makes it concrete: it's about recognising your self-sabotaging thoughts ('you always mess things up') and turning them into helpful ones ('I know I can handle this'). This is a skill, not a personality trait — and you can practise it. Writing down three things that went well each day is a simple, evidence-based way to shift your focus from what goes wrong to what works.

Pillar 3: Build a Healthy Network

A strong social network is protective — against trauma, mental disorders, and loneliness. But healthy relationships don't come by themselves. Van Mierlo introduces the concept of the four 'relational untruths': the idea that you are responsible for someone else's happiness, or vice versa. This confusion is the source of many conflicts. Healthy relationships start with the mindset 'I'm OK, you're OK' — equal, without handing your happiness over to someone else.

Pillar 4: Invest in Yourself

A healthy mind in a healthy body — the Romans already knew it. Exercise, enough sleep, living consciously: it sounds obvious, but how many people actually do it? Van Mierlo also draws on the Stoic philosophy of Marcus Aurelius: focus on what you can influence, accept what you cannot change, and ask yourself every morning: what do I want to contribute today? Know your own strengths and deploy them with intention.

Pillar 5: Invest in Others

This is where the circle closes. Research by Professor Seligman shows that doing something good for someone else makes you happy for a week. Being meaningfully engaged — contributing to something bigger than yourself — can even bring a year of happiness. Whether as a volunteer, a parent, a colleague, or a citizen: true happiness arises in connection with others, not in isolation.

What Does This Mean for You?

Van Mierlo's five pillars aren't complicated — and that's precisely the point. Mental health doesn't have to be a big story. It starts with small, daily choices: checking in with yourself, reframing a negative thought, calling someone you haven't spoken to in a while.

At Well Aware, we believe in exactly this approach: working preventively on mental health so people stay resilient — even when life gets tough. Tom van Mierlo's book is available as a free download at ypse.nl and is highly recommended for anyone who wants to truly understand what mental health means.